When a young couple takes that big step into marriage, managing finances and expectations can be a little tricky.
Take Karlie and Tim, for example. These 27-years-olds recently got engaged and have started having discussions about what their married life should look like. Karlie, who earns more than $170,000 per year, makes a lot more money than Tim, who earns a modest teacher’s salary. They split all of their bills, but Tim supplements his income with a trust fund that’s in the low seven figures.
Recently, Tim’s parents insisted that Karlie quit her job after the two are married to focus on being a stay-at-home mom, but Karlie doesn’t want to give up her career.
Instead, she decided to offer a compromise, suggesting that Tim’s family — who are very wealthy — set up an irrevocable trust for Karlie, contributing her gross earnings yearly for 35 years with anticipated raises and promotions. This would protect her in case of divorce and ensure her a healthy retirement.
But Tim’s family was incensed with my suggestion. Meanwhile, Tim doesn’t want to sign a prenuptial agreement that would transfer half of his assets to Karlie if the marriage doesn’t work out.
So, what should Karlie do to protect her financial future? To figure that out, let’s get into the numbers.
As of 2024, America’s divorce rate sits between 40% and 50% for first marriages. With this in mind, Karlie is wisely choosing to protect herself and her future finances in the event that her marriage with Tim comes to an end.
Without a prenuptial agreement, Karlie may be blocked from claiming a percentage of Tim’s trust fund in the event of a divorce. Even in community property states — which considers a married couple as joint owners of nearly all assets acquired in marriage — Tim’s trust fund was set up before he married Karlie, therefore it belongs solely to him.
The most Karlie could hope to claim would be a percentage of Tim’s teacher salary for the years they were married, as well as half of any assets they might acquire during that time.
Furthermore, men tend to fare much better financially than women after divorce. According to PubMed Central, women in America experience an estimated 27% decline in their standard of living following a divorce, while men experience a 10% increase under the same circumstances.
“Numerous studies have shown that the economic costs of divorce fall more heavily on women,” writes Thomas Leopold in an article for PubMed Central. “After separation, women experience a sharper decline in household income and a greater poverty risk.”
With her $170,000 salary, Karlie is currently in the top 10% wage bracket. Sacrificing her career and the hard work that got her there would be unwise without any alternatives to protect her financial future.
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Without a trust fund of her own or a prenuptial agreement, Karlie is exposing herself to a great deal of financial risk. For stay-at-home mothers, opting out of their career in the short or long term can mean not just a financial loss, but also a loss of identity that many find hard to cope with.
Financially, a stay-at-home parent can save the family between $10,000 and $18,000 on childcare costs each year. However, if Karlie gives up her career, the family will likely have to dip even more into Tim’s trust fund to pay the bills, which may cause some arguments or resentment.
Karlie and Tim would then have to decide how to budget and spend Tim’s money. They’d also have to figure out how Karlie can have some financial freedom within the marriage without her own earnings to spend.
Before Karlie and Tim come together to discuss financial plans for their married life, it would be helpful for both of them to get clear on their personal financial values. This could include asking themselves questions like “where do I want to be in 30 years?”, “how do I picture myself living in retirement?” and “what do I prioritize when it comes to money?”
As they come together to discuss their financial future, finding some common ground in shared financial values will be important. Though differing values can coexist in a marriage, finding a balance could be key to moving their relationship forward.
Once they are able to establish a shared vision and some shared goals for their future, it may also be helpful to get an outside perspective with a financial advisor or a couples therapist. This bias-free advice could help Karlie and Tim make realistic choices that will benefit them both equally.
The outcome of these conversations will help Karlie decide if this marriage, and the lifestyle it may entail, will be right for her. Whether your relationship includes a seven-figure trust fund or taking on your spouse’s significant student debt, it’s important to have hard conversations about money before you sign the marriage licence to ensure you have a shared plan for your financial future.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
