Dealing with the crushing costs of child care

As parents to a one- and three-year-olds, Dr. Yeni Abraham and husband Dele could use a good night’s sleep. But one thing in particular keeps them up at night: The cost of child care. According to Yeni, it costs them $100 more than their mortgage. “It’s just insane,” she said.

The couple lives in Texas. She’s a physical therapist, he’s an IT engineer. They say the cost of child care is crushing. But that’s not the only problem: their friends were signing up for daycare as soon as they found out they were pregnant. “The demand is there,” Yeni said. “And it just never occurred to me that the supply would be so low.”

Yeni would sometimes have to bring her baby to work with her. “I’m taking my son to the clinic. He was on my hip while I was treating my patient. Real life, true story,” she said.

In the United States, child care for two kids costs on average more than rents and mortgages, and even in-state college tuition. It’s pushed parents into debt, and pulled thousands of women out of the workforce this year alone.

Reshma Sujani, CEO and founder of the group Moms First, said that of the choices some families are being forced to make, “none of them are good. And because two-thirds of the caregiving work is often done by women, it’s moms who are having to make this choice. So, they’re downshifting their jobs. They’re dropping out of the workforce entirely.

“We have lots of conversations about the cost of housing, about the cost of gas, about the cost of eggs,” Sujani said. “But when you look at a family’s budget and you say, ‘What is the most expensive line item?’ the answer is child care.”

And it’s not just families who are struggling: “Part of the reason why we have a shortage is because we don’t have enough child care workers,” said Sujani. “And we don’t have enough child care workers because we’ve never paid them adequately.”

Dozens of countries consistently outrank the United States when it comes to child care, most offering free or highly-subsidized programs – ideas that aren’t as foreign to America as you might think. Back in the 1940s, child care was paid for by Uncle Sam. “We knew the men were going off to war and somebody needed to work,” said Sujani. “This was funded by the federal government during World War II. But when the men came back, they dismantled it. And ever since then, we’ve done really nothing to really fix it or solve it.”

“This is how you strengthen your community”  

Fast forward to 2025. While millions of families continue to struggle, calls for solutions have intensified. A growing number of red and blue states are making changes. But none has gone as far as New Mexico. Starting this month, New Mexico becomes the first state to offer free child care to all residents, paid for largely with tax money from the oil and gas industry.

Since 2022, Kari Ellis and her wife, Amanda Cordova, have participated in an early phase of New Mexico’s child care reform. They choose the provider; the state foots the bill. 

“If you want people to work, this is how you do it,” said Ellis. “You give them the tools and the resources. This is how you strengthen your community.”

Asked if she could you imagine life if she still had to pay for child care, Ellis replied, “We wouldn’t be in this house right now. She probably wouldn’t have her own business. This opened up doors that I don’t know would have been possible before. We were able to find a quality place where they are getting the education and support that they need while we’re trying to raise good humans.”

The program has its critics, including those who say child care is the responsibility of the family, not the government.  

To the suggestion that previous generations had figured out child care, Ellis said, “I think that a lot of grandparents probably are still working themselves, and are not even in a position to be able to watch their grandchildren.”

Cordova said, “People used to be able to afford a house, and their full family on one income, right? Like, mom could stay home, or whoever could stay home. But we can’t do that anymore.”

An economic issue  

It’s a message that’s made its way to Washington, D.C., and across party lines. Republican Senator Katie Britt of Alabama and Democratic Senator Tim Kaine of Virginia disagree on plenty, but not this.

“Our economy loses $122 billion a year because of affordability or accessibility of child care,” said Britt.

I asked, “So, this isn’t just a social issue, it’s an economic issue?”

“Absolutely,” Britt replied. “Studies show that 59% of stay-at-home and/or part-time working parents say that they want to reenter the workforce, but this reliability, affordability, accessibility issue is keeping them out of it.”

This year, as part of the “One Big Beautiful Bill,” Britt and Kaine updated child care tax credits for the first time in a quarter-century. They also increased tax benefits for businesses providing child care assistance, and larger contributions to dependents care flexible spending accounts.

Kaine said, “Let’s spread the word, because again, getting this done in the statute is one thing. But making sure people know to take advantage of it [is another].”

Critics argue the larger bill cuts other key social programs and will ultimately hurt families. [In fact, Kaine himself did not vote for the bill.] But both senators say the child care provisions are a win.

I asked, “So if today, child care is the number one expense that families are facing, when do you think that’s gonna change?”

“This is a classic thing where there’s no one, you know, part of government that’s got the whole answer to this,” said Kaine. “You do see states doing some cool things. And that’s to be encouraged. I have a feeling this work will always be before us. But we’ve taken a really good step together on this.”

“So, what would you say to the parent who’s watching now, sitting at their kitchen table, trying to figure out how to pay these bills?”

Britt said, “We’re fighting for you. And so, we’re gonna keep working and keep making sure that we deliver solutions.”

To the Abraham family, solutions can’t come soon enough.

     
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Story produced by Sara Kugel. Editor: George Pozderec.

     
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