Video games usually hand you flashy powers and badass perks to make you feel like a god among NPCs. But sometimes, either by accident or with a wink from the developers, you’re handed an “ability” that’s so spectacularly pointless you’ll wonder if it was designed purely to make you suffer. Here are ten of the worst offenders—skills, perks, and upgrades so hilariously useless that spending points on them should come with a warning label.
Of course, this list is purely for fun, and some people have managed to find intriguing and crazy uses for some of the entries.
1. Inspire – Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Forget buffs or damage bonuses—Handsome Jack’s “Inspire” skill is just him yelling vaguely encouraging nonsense at you. When activated, he bellows things like “You can do it!” while a glittery “Inspired!” splashes across the screen like a bad motivational meme. And if you die? He mocks you with “Disillusioned,” complete with falling tears. Functionally useless, it does absolutely nothing. It’s a joke ability—literally. And if you spent a point on it… congrats, you’ve been Handsome Jack’d.
2. Graug Hunter – Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
While Handsome Jack’s jokey ability was by design, this next one is due to stupidity. This skill lets you tame and ride massive Graugs—epic, right? Except if you’re playing on PS3 or Xbox 360, Graugs are rarer than Gollum’s moments of sanity. They were cut almost entirely due to hardware limitations, but the skill still shows up in your tree like some cruel joke. So if you followed a guide meant for newer consoles, you were in for a rude, Graug-less awakening. In total, only three Graugs exist in the PS3 and Xbox 360 versions of the game, and they only pop up in missions. There are zero to be found in free-roam. As such, all the Graug-based Achievements/Trophies were removed. But not the skill itself.
3. In Shining Armor – Fallout: New Vegas – Dead Money DLC
On paper, this perk sounds like a passable use for a skill point: bonus damage resistance from energy weapons while wearing metal armour and sunglasses. Very “post-apocalyptic chic.” Unfortunately, it’s completely broken. Due to a coding oversight, the perk looks for a nonexistent “energy” damage type, meaning it never activates. It’s the equivalent of putting sunglasses on your hopes and dreams—cool-looking, but ultimately pointless.
The perk was never officially fixed, but unofficially, some mods sort out the problem.
4. Commando – Cyberpunk 2077 (Removed)
This stealth perk let you remain undetected underwater. Useful, if Cyberpunk had meaningful underwater content. It doesn’t. There’s one mission where you have to swim, and it has no enemies. Outside of that, bodies of water are tricky to find, probably because of the whole cyberpunk city vibe. CD Projekt Red eventually patched it out entirely in update 1.5, replacing it with Look Sharp, a perk that blinded enemies when they were hit with a throwing knife in the face. No one noticed Commando had vanished. Or cared.
As for the Looking Sharp perk that replaced Commando, I’d argue that being blinded by a knife to the face is something that kind of happens regardless of whether there’s a perk involved.
5. Speed Demon – Project Zomboid
Want to drive fast during the zombie apocalypse? Speed Demon’s your perk… if you like wrapping your car around a tree. Faster driving in Project Zomboid usually just means faster death. The game’s janky physics, narrow roads, and slow zombies make speed unnecessary and dangerous. With Speed Demon equipped, by the time a corner appears it’s already too late to brake, and too late to kiss your ass goodbye. Any time you saved by travelling at the speed of sound was negated by the constant crashing.
6. Here and Now – Fallout Series
This perk shows up across multiple Fallout games, offering one free level instantly. Sounds tempting—until you realise XP is unlimited, while perk slots are not. You’re basically trading a rare, finite upgrade slot for something you’d get anyway just by playing. Even the game itself tries to warn you by locking this perk behind early-level requirements, which is the perk equivalent of the devs muttering “Don’t do it, man.”
Fun fact: in Fallout: New Vegas, the Here and Now perk can be even more useless! How? Because if you get the skill trait at the start of the game which reduces XP by 10%, Here and Now will give you 90% of the XP required to level up. So it doesn’t even do the one thing it’s supposed to do. Neat!
7. Swimming Skill – Deus Ex (and friends)
Hey, look! It’s another water-based skill! The OG “why is this even here?” skill, in fact. In Deus Ex, upgrading swimming lets you stay underwater longer and swim faster—which would be great if the game had more than, like, two underwater sections. You’re better off holding your breath and running through the water with no upgrades at all, or just grabbing a rebreather.
Honourable mention goes to games like Two Worlds, where you can spend points to wear armour while swimming… even though drowning isn’t a thing and there are no enemies in the water. Seriously. Technically, this could have been entry number 8, but I didn’t want to put 3 water-based perks in one list.
8. Crafty – LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga
The Scavenger class’s “Crafty” perk lets you… give your tools a fresh coat of paint. That’s it. No stat boost, no bonus abilities—just aesthetics. In a game where Kyber Bricks are valuable and upgrades matter, blowing them on a glorified spray paint can feels like the Jedi equivalent of trading Master status for a nicer robe.
9. Giant’s Knife – The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Not a skill, but it deserves a spot here for sheer scamminess. For 200 rupees, you can buy the Giant’s Knife, which has double the power of the Master Sword—until it snaps like a breadstick after four hits. You can keep repairing it (for another 200 rupees) or just cry into your empty wallet. Eventually, you can get the Biggoron’s Sword, which is identical but unbreakable… for free. Nintendo played you like a Deku flute.
10. Rhythm Dodge Pull Cancel – Hi-Fi Rush
This one’s a straight-up prank by the devs. Late in the game, a side character offers an “upgrade” that sounds vaguely useful, but actually nerfs your character when equipped. Best of all, it’s explained in-game as one of the lead character’s friends checking to see if he actually reads things before buying them.
There’s no reward, no achievement—just the quiet shame of realising you didn’t read the item description before smacking the buy button like a chimpanzee that’s just discovered Uber Eats. What a glorious, awesome game.
Honorable Mentions:
- Goldeen – Super Smash Bros.: Pops out of a Pokéball, flops uselessly, leaves. Not technically a skill or perk or ability, but hilarious nonetheless.
- Wooden Shield – Bloodborne: Exists to remind you that defense is for cowards.
- Punch Through Walls – Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Spends Praxis Points to do what a grenade or wall panel already does. But didn’t make it onto the list because punching through walls is badass.
- Water Breathing – The Elder Scrolls Series: Useful for Argonians. For everyone else? You’ll rarely need it—and even when you do, a potion or enchantment works just as well.
Whether they’re inside jokes from the dev team or just victims of bad design, these skills all share one thing in common: they’re entirely, gloriously, hilariously useless. So next time you’re building your character, take a moment to read the fine print. Or don’t—and enjoy Handsome Jack’s shit attempts at inspiring you while you bleed out on the floor.
