Who hasn’t wondered if they can spice up The Far Side with a caption of their own? Everyone loves Gary Larson’s comedic masterpiece, and while many of his strips utilize captions, plenty of others are caption-less, letting the visuals do all the work. But wouldn’t it be fun to come up with some captions for those that lack them?
Of course, The Far Side is genius, and few would claim that they could do better than the made that not only made it, but made it funny. That being said, there are a lot of Far Side panels that don’t have a caption, such as a man parachuting with a sack full of moths or a snake that’s basking in the aftermath of consuming the beloved comic character Garfield. No one is saying they can do it better than Gary Larson, but here are 10 suggested captions to see how they can assist classic Far Side gags.
10
“I’ve Never Been So Embarrassed”
Publication Date: June 8, 1984
Larson goes for the classic ‘slipping on a banana peel’ gag with the strip, but subverts it by having the unlucky victim be a penguin in the middle of an arctic wasteland. It’s definitely funny on its own (though it does make one wonder if someone else is there with the penguin). A nice addition would be a dialogue caption with the penguin saying something to the effect of “I’ve never been so embarrassed”. Not only playing on the idea that there’s nothing that embarrassing, but also the fact that there’s literally no one around to see the penguin’s shame.
9
“The Cattle Feared the Land Dispute Was Getting Worse”
Publication Date: February 26, 1986
This Far Side strip doesn’t have a caption, but it does include words, albeit backwards and used as a brand. A particularly obsessive rancher is preparing to brand his cattle with an iron that is so specific it includes his name and a warning. It’s a cringey-enough gag, sure, but what would really elevate it is a caption that provides some context. “The cattle feared the land dispute was getting worse.” seems like classic Far Side, not only going for the obvious, but also hinting at the circumstances that led to such an incredibly absurd scenario.
8
“It Wasn’t Ideal, But Paul Was Happy for the Company”
Publication Date: June 4, 1984
Aliens always make for a good gag and here, Larson blends an alien invasion with another terrifying ordeal: a man who has been marooned on a small isle. It’s hard to come up with a caption that really captures what works about this set-up, but something like “It wasn’t ideal, but Paul was happy for the company.” seems like it’d fit right into the strip. Marooned and close to a third encounter isn’t great, but the prospect of not being alone anymore? That kind of bizarre optimism is perfect for The Far Side.
7
“Bob’s Biggest Regret Was Not Getting Out More”
Publication Date: July 7, 1980
It’s always funny (if not a bit morbid) seeing something go completely wrong in a Far Side strip. Here, a man has taken the plunge and gone skydiving, but while a nearby skydiver is floating gently to the ground, the man’s parachute has been ransacked by moths, who fly away having consumed his much-needed accessory. The strip is solid on its own, but why not go for the one-two punch with “Bob’s biggest regret was not getting out more.”? It’s a darkly humorous way of expressing how an earlier attempt at skydiving might have helped him avoid those darn moths.
6
“Someone Should Really Put That Out”
Publication Date: March 31, 1981
Incompetence is a great thing to base a gag on. Here, The Far Side shows a group of firefighters attempting to save a woman as she jumps out of a building. Unfortunately, the trampoline they’re using accidentally sends her into the next building, which is also on fire. A good visual gag on its own, but something to hint at just how bad these firefighters are at this job would give it that extra zing. “Someone should really put that out” is a fine way to showcase how these rescue workers are far from the sharpest knives in the drawer.
5
“I Just Need to Get Your Wing, and It’s Perfect”
Publication Date: December 19, 1994
Larson was a master at crafting unusual scenarios. For this gag, The Far Side presents an artist that is doing a still-life portrait of a woman. The problem is a fly has landed on the inside of the artist’s glasses, and he has painted the bug’s features onto the woman. How does one make this gag even more absurd? Have the artist say “I just need to get your wing, and it’s perfect.”. It’s a good way to really hammer home how ignorant this artist must be if he actually thinks that’s what his subject looks like.
4
“Putting Mondays in Perspective”
Publication Date: December 16, 1983
The Far Side wasn’t afraid to take pot-shots at other comic strips (in a playful manner, of course). So for this gag, Larson has a snake crash one of The Far Side’s competitors. The snake has a full belly and is cozied up around a dish labeled “Garfield”, implying that everyone’s favorite lasagna-loving cat has been consumed. Definitely funny on its own, but what could really push it is a sardonic observation like “Putting Mondays in perspective.”. After all, Garfield hates Mondays, but compared to being eaten by a snake, they’re really not that bad.
3
“Mom’s Gonna Kill Us”
Publication Date: May 9, 1985
The Far Side always excelled in anthropomorphizing animals and giving them hilarious human qualities. Here, a couple of fish are playing baseball when their game has accidentally caused their bowl to spring a leak. Given that the fish with a bat looks more nervous than gravely concerned, a funny addition could be “Mom’s gonna kill us.”. The idea likening the fish breaking the bowl to breaking a window and the humor really coming from the fish being more worried about parental discipline than the fact that he’s moments from death.
2
“Sheldon Was Warned the Postal Service Was a Dangerous Job”
Publication Date: May 16, 1981
It was rare for The Far Side to do strips that featured more than one panel, but of all the ones that broke away from the standard format, this one is one of the funniest. Here, a postman is delivering mail when he’s oddly attacked by a mailbox, which rapidly consumes him. How exactly does one add to such an over-the-top scenario? Something like “Sheldon was warned the postal service was a dangerous job.” seems appropriate. While there are certainly dangers to delivering mail, who the hell would ever expect being eaten by a mailbox?
1
“Too Bad He’s Not an Organ Donor”
Publication Date: August 10, 1981
The best Far Side gags are the ones that subvert a reader’s expectations. Here, Larson has a couple of bears standing over a man they’ve just mauled in order to steal his wallet. Why are they holding back and just robbing his cash? Well, a line like “Too bad he’s not an organ donor” could add to this strip. It makes it seem like the only reason they’re not devouring the poor man they killed was because he didn’t consent to it, making the pair of bears ethical, yet morally skewed, thieves.
- Writer
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Gary Larson
- Colorist
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Gary Larson
