Scottie Scheffler thrives, Bryson DeChambeau’s awkward line

After 29 years, Happy Gilmore returned to screens this weekend in a nostalgia-fueled, cameo-filled fever dream on Netflix. Happy Gilmore 2 hits some of the right notes early, and if it falls short of its ’90s predecessor, that’s okay — it’s hard to live up to such a legendary piece of cinema.

But this isn’t a movie review. If you want that, my colleague Josh Berhow did an excellent job of breaking down the good, bad, weird and everything in between here.

Instead, what we’re here to do is have a very serious, scientific breakdown of all the professional golfers who grace the screen in this movie — whether they stole the show, surprised in their role, made us cringe or were just kind of there. This cameo review won’t focus on Travis Kelce (pretty good!), Bad Bunny (very good!), Eminem (why not?) or Reggie Bush (weird). We’re just going to dissect professional golf’s silver-screen moment even more closely than we would the Open Championship.

Let’s start at the top.

The Scene-stealer

Scottie Scheffler

The World No. 1 is really the bright spot of a tough last 30 minutes of the movie. Scheffler’s dry sense of humor and deadpan deliveries lead to some pretty funny moments in the later stages, and credit to him for leaning into a character arc centered on getting arrested again. All in all it’s a pretty fulfilling cameo for the Champion Golfer of the Year.

Best moment: When Scheffler and the Tour’s other top players are training to face the Maxi Team, Scheffler makes a mini-golf style putt on a pool table and does the Shooter McGavin celebration, but gets a head shake from the real McGavin and holsters his air gun.

The star

Will Zalatoris

The Will-Zalatoris-is-Happy-Gilmore’s-caddie joke has been beaten to death since the Wake Forest product arrived on the professional golf scene, though in fairness, the resemblance is uncanny! But Zalatoris does a brilliant job as Gilmore’s caddie, all grown up. His comedic timing and ability to deliver the pay-off lines were another unexpected surprise. Zalatoris excels at going from a forgiving former caddie who Gilmore choked out to a vengeful villain, and that’s a bright spot of a movie that banks on cameos and call-backs.

Best moment: After Zalatoris tells Gilmore they are playing together and therefore he can’t caddie for him, Gilmore exits the locker room by saying, “I’ll see you out there, Blondie.” This led to our first quick transition from normal Will Zalatoris to the grudge-holding former caddie.

“Blondie. My name is Will, and I’m still mad at you for choking me out, you son of b—-,” Zalatoris says with a semi-menacing look.

I could have used more of Zalatoris’ heel-turn in this movie. He would have been a fitting villain to join the Maxi League instead of Haley Joel Osment’s character.

The guy who just wants the proper gin

Jordan Spieth

Spieth’s cameo is brief but involves him scolding a waiter for putting the wrong kind of gin in his gin and tonic. All Spieth wants is Tanqueray, not Bombay, which is a fair ask for a Tour Champion.

Spieth is one of professional golf’s nice guys, so casting him in a condescending, snobby role was a nice swerve and he pulls it off!

Missing in action stars

Rory McIlroy and Brooks Koepka

Two-fifths of the team that’s supposed to save professional golf, McIlroy and Koepka, don’t shine like Scheffler. The scene in which McIlroy, Koepka, Scheffler, and Bryson DeChambeau all gang up on Shooter McGavin over his choke at the 1996 Tour Championship is nicely done, but otherwise, we don’t get much from McIlroy or Koepka. (We’ll get to the tittie twister in a second.)

Awkward line award

Bryson DeChambeau

If they were going to pick a pro golfer to deliver this line, Bryson was undoubtedly the one best suited to pull it off. And to give it his all.

“Don’t twist my boy’s t—–, those are my t—–!”

It’s bizarre even for a Happy Gilmore film. It’s even stranger when you think of the history between McIlroy and DeChambeau, who aren’t traditionally thought of as particularly chummy. I honestly had to rewind the movie to make sure I heard Bryson’s line correctly. Once again, A-plus choice on having DeChambeau, in his Crushers gear, deliver that line, but still an extremely strange moment.

A winning couple

Xander Schauffele and Rickie Fowler

Like Spieth, Schauffele, and Fowler only show up briefly at the Tour Champions’ dinner, but their time on screen is entertaining.

Schauffele just wants to get off a well-timed “That’s what she said!” joke. The first comes after Dennis Dugan welcomes them to the Tour Champions’ dinner. Schauffele gleefully lets his joke rip, only to be rebuffed by Fowler that it didn’t work. His next attempt gets a head shake from Fowler before Kelce, a waiter, congratulates him on the joke. But it’s Schauffele’s facial expressions that really make his few moments on screen winning ones. When Fowler shuts the first joke down, Schauffele’s face quickly turns from excited to downtrodden in a snap. It’s brilliant. Schauffele later mouths his joke to Fowler while wiggling his eyebrows, and it’s A-plus silent comedic gold from the X-man. Fowler’s eye-roll takes it home.

When Kelce tackles Schauffele and Collin Morikawa through a table, Schauffele notes there’s “a fork in his a–.” This allows Fowler to hit him with his own, ‘That’s what she said!” Juvenile? Sure. Effective? Rickie and X make it work!

Needed a bigger cameo

Justin Thomas

Given JT’s personality, sense of humor and standing in the game, I thought he needed more than the few moments he got, as a massive Gilmore fan who takes videos while Happy hits. Like Zalatoris, Thomas was good in limited action, which wasn’t surprising. But I wanted more of JT, who clearly had fun in his small role.

The other LIV boys

Bubba Watson and Sergio Garcia

The film’s crux is that an upstart golf league with music and only seven holes is trying to destroy regular golf (sound familiar?), and several of LIV Golf’s notable stars appear in the film. Koepka and DeChambeau play on the side of traditional golf, which is interesting given *gestures at the state of pro golf*

Garcia briefly has a cameo where he’s shown saying, “Viva normal golf!” Once again, odd given this is a guy who famously couldn’t wait to leave the PGA Tour for LIV Golf. Watson, who is wearing his Range Goats shirt, asks Gilmore in the locker room, “What’s up with that tool starting that goofy league?”

The self-awareness makes it humorous, but it’s still a bit hard to square, even for a movie that asks you to completely suspend belief. I would have liked the movie to take Watson out for more of a spin. This is a guy who once did a music video in overalls. Feels like they might have left the sports car in the garage!

He lives in the garage

John Daly

Daly really thrives as Gilmore’s uncle who lives in his garage. He has put a “down payment on a tent,” watches Love Island, consumes hand sanitizer and apparently often forgets to eat three meals a day.

Daly’s constant presence in the scenes with Gilmore and his kids is a useful comedic tool during the movie’s first half.

Best moment: “Let’s go to Hooters!” — Daly after Gilmore saves regular golf. Speaking of Daly and Hooters, read Michael Bamberger’s piece on the Hooters near Augusta National. You won’t regret it.

Throwing 99 mph for one batter

Charley Hull

Hull’s Happy Gilmore moment is brief, but she thrives by calling Chubbs’ son a “big pork chop,” who calls her a “fine-a– English hillbilly” in return. Hull’s line, as presumably Chubbs’ son’s boss, is a quick heater that you don’t see coming. Like a comet, Hull burns bright and fast in her four on-screen seconds.

An unexpectedly creepy Nelly

Nelly Korda

Korda plays a doctor in the mental institution that houses Shooter McGavin. At first it seems like Korda is almost zoning out. But when she snaps into it she gets McGavin to have a psychotic break by ribbing him about Gilmore and the gold jacket he lost out on. Then, Korda goes back to seeming disinterested, which gives Korda’s doctor a creepy feel, while Nancy Lopez’s doctor is just really psyched to go to Benihana. It was an unexpectedly complex cameo from the World No. 1.

The old guys

Jack Nicklaus, Fred Couples and Lee Trevino

Nicklaus, Couples, Trevino, Nick Faldo and Corey Pavin all sit with Gilmore at the Tour Champions’ dinner. Faldo and Pavin don’t offer much, but we do get some good stuff from Couples (a dessert fiend who loves blueberry jubilee), Trevino (he grinds up aspirin in his apple sauce) and Nicklaus.

Jack orders an iced tea and lemonade from Kelce, who says, ‘Oh, an Arnold Palmer?’ To which Nicklaus responds, ‘No, no. Jack Nicklaus, but I do get that a lot.”

Nicklaus does a good job of playing a role he has certainly played in real life — the wise legend imparting wisdom onto a former champion (Gilmore) returning to try to find his former self. Pretty good acting from the Golden Bear.

In other veteran golfer cameo news, Jim Furyk makes an early film cameo in which he’s wearing a terrible wig and flips off a bird who poops on Gilmore’s ball to knock it in the hole to beat him. Not the movie’s best moment.

Also there

Collin Morikawa, Keegan Bradley and Tony Finau

Bradley is the only one who doesn’t have a line. He just sits next to Spieth as he berates the waiter about his gin. Finau gives Happy some words of encouragement before his return.

Morikawa, meanwhile, is very enthusiastic about teaching the guys from the breakaway league a lesson. That one might have come from the heart!

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